Yippee! I Got An Agent!

Some news is so big, you just want to scream it from the rooftops. Stuff like, "I lost my virginity!" or "I'm getting married!" or "We had a baby!"

Cherry-popping aside, those other life events are okay to broadcast because it's universally known that people will be happy for you–or act like they are. Then there's the kind of news I recently got which is more personal, and requires people know you or the situation well enough to know exactly how big that news is for you.

And that's where, for me, shouting from the rooftops gets tricky. See, writing is the one place where I overshare, but in my real life, I'm kind of private. Usually, I don't offer up much. That's partly because I'm a recovering introvert, partly because I'm a notoriously good listener, but mostly because I suspect that, unless I'm talking to folks about things that concern them, most people really don't care.

So, last week, when I got some of the best freakin' news of my life, I was torn between wanting to tell every single person I knew, and keeping the whole darn story to myself.

Okay, okay, for the two of you who really do care, I'll explain...

After a blur of months spent writing my first novel then another blur of months spent researching and contacting literary agents–hoping, praying they would read and like it–I was offered representation by a respected industry veteran who wants to help me get it published.

Translation: I GOT SIGNED BY AN AGENT!

I hung up the phone and screamed loud enough to shake the whole house. My oldest son came running to find out the reason, and when I told him, his response was, "Congratulations Mom! What time's dinner?"

My daughter actually got mad at me for making my announcement, pouting because she wanted to talk about her day instead.

When I called my brother I got sent to voicemail. He called me back five days later, and after I shared my big news, said, "Wait, you wrote a book?"

"Yeah, a year ago, didn't I tell you?" Oh well, I guess not.

Next up, I phoned the two people who were sure to be psyched for me instead of preoccupied or confused: my parents.

ME: Hey Mom, guess what, I got an agent!

MOM: Your book is getting published?

ME: No, not yet, but the agent is the first step–it's her job to sell the book to publishers.

MOM: Oh, that's nice. So how are the kids?


Not exactly the shared joy I was hoping for, but I figured my dad was a shoe-in.


ME: Guess what, Dad! I got an agent!

DAD: Do you have to pay them money or something?

ME: No, she's representing me because she likes my work.

DAD: That's good. But how are the kids?

After that, I ammended my strategy. Instead of clamming up like I usually do, I decided I would share my news with total strangers instead. This way, I'd still be able to say those delicious four words ("I got an agent!") over and over, out loud, but wouldn't have to take people's reactions personally.

I told the guy who pumps my gas at the Shell station, "Fill it up with regular, thanks. I got an agent!"

Didn't bother me one bit when he nodded and asked me to open my gas tank door.

I also told my manicurist. "Pedicure please, I got an agent!" She nodded and smiled, saying, "You pick color!"

I even told a telemarketer. "Please add me to your don't call list, and I need to go now. That's my agent on the other line." Then I hung up on that pre-recorded robot before she even had a chance to respond.

All that one-way oversharing has felt so good, I figured I might as well announce my news here in this blog too. In case you missed it, I GOT AN AGENT! I GOT AN AGENT! I GOT AN AGENT!

If you're wondering how to react, pretend I told you I'm getting married or just lost my virginity. You should be happy for me, really really happy! Unless, like I suspect, you really don't care. Which is fine too. I'll never know.

I'm just glad I was able to get the words out. But I need to go now. My agent is calling.
 

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